As we celebrate Valentine’s Day today, let’s take a look at one of the earliest human institutions ordained by God…marriage. Since the very first wedding in a Garden, marriage has been a cornerstone of human society. In our prison ministries in Saskatchewan, we believe that marriage is one of the most important relationships in a person’s life.
According to God’s Word, what does a godly marriage look like?
1) Husbands who love their wives
In Ephesians 5:33, Paul shared the two basic requirements for a godly marriage. “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” (Eph. 5:33) God calls men to love their wives unconditionally.
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, PhD., author of the classic marriage book Love & Respect, says that a woman’s primary need in marriage is to feel loved.
He explains, “Women absolutely need love. Men absolutely need respect. It’s as simple and as complicated as that.” How can husbands demonstrate unconditional love for their wives? Emerson offers some practical ideas in his book…
-Share with your wife how your day went.
-Learn to ask your wife, “Do you need a solution or a listening ear?” when she comes to you with a problem.
-Be willing to say, “I’m sorry,” when you mess up.
-Never criticize her in front of others.
-Praise her, both in front of others and in private.
When husbands show love for their wives, they will strengthen their marriages immensely.
2) Wives who respect and submit to their husbands
Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” In a godly marriage, the wife submits to her husband’s wishes. She knows that following her husband’s leadership is pleasing to God. She also recognizes the importance of treating her husband with respect, even when he may not deserve it. God calls women to respect their husbands unconditionally.
According to Dr. Eggerichs, “respect is a man’s deepest value.” In one US survey, four hundred men were given a choice between two negative experiences. They could choose either “to be left alone and unloved in the world” or “to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone.” Seventy-four percent of the men chose the first option—to be alone and unloved.
Dr. Eggerichs comments, “These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than to feel loved.”
Men need to know that, no matter what, their wives respect them. How can a wife show unconditional respect to her husband? Emerson shares some tips…
-Verbally praise your husband for his strengths and achievements.
-Thank him for his commitment to provide for you & your family.
-Disagree with him only in private.
-Thank him for pointing out areas you could improve in.
-Spend time with him doing recreational activities that he enjoys.
When wives show respect, they enable their husbands to become the loving servant-leaders God intended them to be.
Ready to learn more? We recommend picking up a copy of Dr. Eggerich’s book Love & Respect. In our prison ministries in Saskatchewan, we also offer confidential marriage counselling. Contact us to learn more!
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